The Turkey Stampede

By Carl J Bridgman

Roanoke, VA

When I served in Mississippi
There were hunters in the church
Who invited me to join them
On a whitetail hunt and search.

When I got there I discovered
That this hunt was organized
By a club of twenty hunters
Some were women, most were guys.

Now the plan was for a meeting
After breakfast at the camp
To discuss the rules for hunting
So we'd know the cans and can'ts.

The main rule for all the hunters
Was a rule called "number 1"
"Do not ever kill a turkey
Or your hunts with us are done."

"And when placed upon your station
Do not leave for anything.
You could even be mistaken
For a deer or other game."

"Now the technique for our hunting
Is the hunting dogs we use
For persuading all the whitetail
To be moving close to you."

Now that all the hunters present
Understood the hunt club rules
We then climbed aboard some pickups
To be taken with our stools

To a predetermined station
Where we'd sit till time for lunch.
Then we'd do the whole thing over
Right back in that pickup truck.

At the end of each day's hunting
We would gather as a group
And we'd watch the butcher "butching"
All the meat with ribs to boot.

Then the meat was all divided
Among all the hunters who
Took a part in all the hunting
Just as all good hunters do.

But my hunting trip was special,
One I never will forget;
After riding to my station
I sat down and then got set.

I'd been sitting for an hour
When the dogs began to wail
And their barking seemed much louder
As they picked up on the trail.

And I noticed something stranger;
As their barks grew louder still
Like a wall of barking K-9s
My heart thumping, eyes were peeled!

Closer, closer, came the barking
Till my heart began to pound.
Suddenly the strange got stranger...
Then the strangest sight around.

Through the brush came fleeing turkeys
Running hard right toward my knees
Fifteen strong with scared eyes glaring
It was quite a sight to see.

Sharp spurs flicking near my
clothing;
Feathers flapping round my head;
I thought, "This can't be my ending!
DEATH BY TURKEY MIGHT BE SAID!"

As they ran right past my station
That rule ran across my mind
Though they don't want turkeys murdered......
SELF DEFENSE IS NOT A CRIME!